Anticipation

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“It is so hard to leave—until you leave.  And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.”   John Green


This leaving, and this beginning something, is sort of like two ends of the same rope… I don’t know the feelings are mixed, I feel excited and unsure and a bit scared and confident, all at the same time. Mostly, it’s the leaving that is heart pinching and uncomfortable for me.

Leaving, moving forward from familiar things and people and activities, it’s time for me on many levels, though there’s still a heart pinch for me.  I’ve taken time these last few months, knowing I’d be leaving, to reconnect with people – family, friends, some people I’d fallen out of contact with for one reason or another.  It’s been wonderfully positive touching base, catching up, and sometimes clearing up.  It’s not like I’ll not be back or that I cannot be in-touch while I’m living out of the country.  However, for me, this move represents a shift within myself… a shift towards following my inner voice, living dreams, helping people, building bridges.  Yes, these could have been done here, too, though that’s where my dream comes in and that whole idea of living and working with and in other countries.

Gearing up for the beginning and the living solo, which I haven’t done in many, many years , and to living with out pets, whose company I really enjoy.  Mostly excitedly gearing up for deciding in every way the what to do, what to eat, how to be, solely based on my own desires and interests… no heart pinch with this, just genuine excitement!

‘Last minute wrap ups as I prepare to leave in four days.  I decided to review what exactly I was packing and took three checked bags down to two!  Decided to take some additional electronic devices and on the flip side to give local care items a try when I run out there (it’ll be an adventure). Forwarding mail and some final bills…. this is happening, for certain, for real!

There has been a resounding go for it shout from everyone, as I take off on this adventure. This support, this reaction, has meant a lot and reaffirmed what I’m embarking on in this beginning  for myself.

China, four days and counting…

 

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